My Only Love
by Lady-Kinsei
Summary: Second story in 'The Lovers' series. In this one, Seifer thinks about his feelings for Rinoa. PG-13 for language. Slightly SeiferxRinoa, but mostly Squinoa. R&R and Blessed Be!


**Disclaimer:** You a regular reader of my work? Look at my other disclaimers.  
  
  


**Summary:** An idea I had when I was looking over my most recent FF8 work, My Angel, Forever. All of you who read it, thank you sooooooooo much for the wonderful reviews! This story is a twin/sister work to My Angel, Forever, and is dedicated to all who reviewed My Angel, Forever, as a thank you. This one's for YOU guys! THANK YOU!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
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My Only Love

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I watched her fondly, standing out on that private cove we had found together. I breathed in the scent of the sea as she dove down into the far-off waves; she was such a strong swimmer for such a slender bone structure.  
  


She came up to the surface, shaking the salty waters off of her silky hair. She looked over to me and raised her arm out of the waters, motioning me to come in with her. I shook my head, and she dove down again....  
  
  
  
  


"Seifer," she called my name. I looked over at her, still wet from her recent swim. "Why don't you ever come in and swim with me?" she asked playfully.  
  


I shrug, but I really know the answer to that. I just like watching her swim.  
  


"D'you know how to swim?" I nod. "Well then, it's settled!" Huh? She brushed off her blue Speedo and ran up behind me, ripping off my silver coat.  
  


"Hey--what are you doing???"  
  


"Seifer, you trust me, don't you?" she asked innocenlty, placing both of my hands on her waist, backing up slightly with me.  
  


Trust her? Of course I trust her... I respect her... I even... No--get that out of your head... She's only freaking sixteen! I know that a year isn't that much of a difference, but... "Yeah, I trust you..."   
  


She smiled sweetly, "Good." And then she shoved me into the icy cold waters of the ocean, laughing playfully...  
  
  
  
  


I'm actually surprised to say that was fun... I haven't gone swimming in a long time, especially not by surprise like that. We sat together on that boulder by the cove, soaking wet, watching the sun set on the horizon. It was beautiful... _She's_ beautiful... I thought.  
  


I looked over at her. Damn, she _was_ beautiful... She looked at me, I smiled. My heartbeat sped up, I found myself moving closer to her, slipping my arm around her waist. Wow, she even smells good... I never stopped looking into her eyes, my mouth watered as I felt her breath on my face. She closed her eyes and I mine, I felt her heartbeat against mine and her arms wrap around me...  
  
  
  


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I flashed my eyes open, breathing hard from my dream. Nowadays, it was more like a haunting nightmare...  
  


Why am I haunted with these dreams...? Why am I constantly remembering all of this now? Why now and not before... Before I lost her... Lost her to _him_...  
  


I pulled on my coat and headed to the ball room. As I walked I kept hearing talk about her and _him_ together. Hearing their names strung together like that was painful, stabbing at me like a knife. An icy dagger of heartache...  
  
  
  
  


I watched them together, standing out on the balcony. It had been over a month since the battle of Ultemecia, and everyone was _still_ celebrating. The balcony seemed to be their new designated 'spot.' I had a 'spot' with her once, back when we were at that cove, together. The stars were their place, ours was the sea. How different the two were, the stars and the sea, I mean.  
  


Why the hell did she have to choose him over me? I'm ten times the man he is! I sighed angrily to myself and grabbed a bottle of vodka and poured the whole thing into the punch. So what if I drown my sorrows in alchohol? So what? It's not like it matters, anymore...  
  


"You love her, don't you?" I turned around at the voice behind me. I sneered and leaned against a column in the shadows.  
  


"Get outta my face, Chicken wuss," I snapped.  
  


"I can tell, man!" Zell insisted. "It's like looking in a mirror. While we were all beginning to work together in Timber, I was totally ass-over-tea-kettle for her. We've talked about so many things, spent so much time together... Over all of those good and bad times--what can I say? I'm in love! And I can tell that you're still in love with her; you're not the only one. 'Course, I've been since the very moment she and I met. But she just thinks of me as a 'friend.'"  
  


I frowned, "I said, 'Get outta my face!'"  
  


"You're being such an ass--just admit it! You have the same feelings I have for Rinoa, don't you. Face the fact--you're in love with Rinoa!"  
  


"I can't, dammit! I am not admiting to some fucking emotion that started a long time ago--"  
  


"But never finished."  
  


"Shut the hell up! Listen to me--you ass--and you listen good. You're not in love with her the way _I_ am and was. You're never gonna feel what I feel. You know why? It's because you have no God-damned idea what you're talking about!" I shouted; to my horror, I was beginning to feel hot tears stinging my eyes.  
  


"Like hell I don't know what I'm talking about!" I glared at him, my eyes beginning to spill with tears. Zell stopped and watched me in silence.  
  


"That's right you _don't!_" I sighed and turned away. "You have no fucking idea what you're talking about... You don't know what you're missing out on!" I turned back to him. "I had her, you asshole, you hear? I HAD HER!  
  


I sighed in anger and sorrow. "When I had her...everything seemed to be perfect. I loved her, so much. And I respected her, too. She was the only girl I ever had that I didn't just want in my bed. Hell--with her--I was the perfect gentle man! Who I am today is partly because of her.  
  


"She's the one who taught me to live life on the edge--to trust my instincts--to be brave enough to say exactly what I feel inside! When I was with her, I felt so good--like it was Christmas was every day, almost. You don't have any idea what you mean when you say that you fell for her, I _truly_ fell for her. Hah--and you say that seeing Squall and Rinoa together causes _you_ pain!  
  


"You-- You've never _truly seen_ her. You've never felt what it's like to hold her hand... To be able to memorize her smell... To hold her in your arms... To get caught in the rain with her right by your side... To sneak out of the city and drive out and watch the sun rising over the horizon... To just take her hand and kiss her at the sight of the first evening star... You have no clue."  
  


He shook his head as I turned around wiped away the tears that had spilled from my heart. "You think you've got it rough? Look--I was the one who had to sit back and _watch_ those two fall in love, notbeing able to do a damn thing about it! At least you were far away enough from us to not know what _I've_ experienced. It was heart-wrenching!"  
  


I smirked slightly, "Guess that means we have something in common." Zell crossed his arms with a slight smile and nod. "By the way, don't you let on about me crying over a girl, got that?"  
  


"She's not just _a_ girl, Seifer. Look at her--but I know what you mean. Don't worry about it."  
  


I sighed in relief. At least I knew that my secret would be safe. Anyhow, if he spilled it, I'd deny, and kill him. I snickered to myself slightly at the thought, but immidiately dropped those _slightly_ happy thoughts. I love Rinoa, I love her so much... Yet, she loves another... Doesn't matter, though it is heart-wrenching. She will always be my only love.  
  
  
  
  
  


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Hmm... *scratches chin thoughtfully* That's not half bad, eh? I know it probably wasn't as good as 'My Angel, Forever,' but it'll do! So? Don't just sit on your butt, staring at this screen! Review me, already! PLEEEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEEE!!!!!! Thanks!  
  


~Kayli 


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